This is true for all of us. The pain related to Growth and Change is temporary, but the pain related to Staying Stuck persists until we become un-stuck. Which is worse? As a Personal Success Coach, my job is helping people get un-stuck and move confidently towards what they really want. What is it that you really want? I invite you to share it with me.
Of all the leadership traits that have been identified, assessed, developed, and written about, I’d like to focus on one that is at the top of my list – Leaders Must Serve Others. Think of Gandhi and MLK.
This “attitude for service” is most often learned and demonstrated before we get our first ‘management’ job. It starts with how we lead ourselves as individual contributors and team members.
It’s amazing how influential our leadership style can be to others – our coworkers, suppliers, clients, community, family, etc. People see the inherent goodness in it and realize that it really is worthy of emulating. When you are on the receiving end of someone else’s act of service, it awakens your spirit and warms your heart. We then have this urge to pay-it-forward because the rewarding feelings from being on the giving-end are equally wonderful…we can see it in the face of the person who just gave to us. And who doesn’t want to have that?
Plato said: “He who is not a good servant will not be a good master.”
This lesson is stressed in my coaching program. Effective leaders are born from having been good followers. They are observant, they learn from their leaders, and they take the best of themselves and what they have learned from others and incorporate that into their style of leadership.
In a leadership book called Synchronicity by Joseph Jaworski, which was gifted to me by a friend and former coworker, Ernesto Aguero, the author agrees that leadership is about serving others and that leadership is about a state of being, not doing. Jaworski goes further by defining leadership as about learning how to shape the future, a choice to allow life to unfold through us, and the importance of seeing the world as made up of relationships. When we are wholly accepting of each other, we see everyone’s value and potential, we focus on their positives not their negatives, you provide an opening through which others can bring forward their very best self without reservation. We all should focus on this because often this part of leadership is the most rewarding.
If this is an area that you want to better develop, let’s talk.
Hey, it’s still football season – my favorite sports time of the year. So why not another motivating quote from the gridiron:
Vince Lombardi – “Confidence is contagious, so is lack of confidence.”
We all know how true this is. If we are paying attention, we see this concept play out every day in our lives…at work, at home, and at play. When you have confidence in what you are doing, your performance will most often meet or exceed your expectations…and you’ll perform with little to no stress. However, when you don’t have confidence you will more often perform below your expectations and experience the discomfort of doubt and worry.
We all want to operate with more confidence, though it can be hard to come by in 3 these situations:
- You have performed poorly in the past
- You have never done before
- Same task but much larger scale than anything you’ve done in the past
I immediately think of 5 work examples for the above situations:
- Starting a new business
- Expanding an existing business
- Starting a new job
- Taking a promotion
- Changing careers
Many other examples come to mind in our home/play life – dating, marriage, parenting, home improvement projects, sports, hobbies, games, parties, etc.
We typically gain confidence with something through having performed it successfully in the past. But why wait for success to show up. You can gain confidence whenever you need it…even before your first attempt at something.
Confidence, like Success, is a MINDSET, an ATTITUDE, which you can choose to shift to the positive. Those who don’t consciously choose their mindset are left to whatever their “default” mindset is in the situations described above…which for most people is fear, doubt, worry – lack of confidence.
Using confidence-building auto-suggestion techniques and support from a coach/mentor/peer, you can create the “can do, will do” mindset needed to perform at your best. And, isn’t that what we all really want…to do our best?
If you would like advice on how to gain confidence and bring out your best, let’s talk.
Tom Pearson – Personal Success Coach